David was a historian at the institute. The machine had been cold, like the look on his father’s face when he cried. The noises that erupted from it felt uncoordinated and overeager, like the dreams where he could not stop running and falling. The nurse had been friendly, like the voices in his head when there was no one else to tell. The doctor had been professional, like a salesman, like...
A boy lost in the woods. The path is a dragon to be fled, cobblestones made of logical paradoxes to be solved. There is a sign pointing to freedom and wealth. There are warnings; a cacography of leaves and bare twigs, foretelling failures and eternal damnation. The spirits sing sweet songs, gossamer echoes of Ariadne’s thread. “Here is freedom, here is choice.” But the boy...
When I first met Adam he was picketing cigarette sales outside a convenience store. When I think of him now, I think of his bulging eyes, sweaty stubble, the smell of aniseed as he leaned in confidentially to whisper something he thought must be a secret, but back then he was clean shaved and suited and not prone to whispers. “You got a light?” I didn’t. “That’s...
Samma vayama right effort is the 6th of the eightfold path. I shall not give up my efforts until I have attained whatever is attainable by perseverance, energy, and endeavour. We share in four great endeavours: Prevent the arising of unarisen unwholesome states Abandon the unwholesome states that have already arisen Arouse the wholesome states that have not yet arisen Maintain and perfect the...
I have been on an epic journey. I have travelled a countless distance and endured unmeasurable inflictions. This is my story. It began with a breath I learned to sit with the breath and discovered great subtleties of silence. In time these places of bliss became distracted by moments of tension. I tugged on the thread. At the end of the tension was a discomfort, small and ambiguous. It was a...
I have faced the dragon. I have seen the ocean that drowns. I have seen the fires that consume. I have walked and been suffocated and been burnt. Beneath the waters and the flames I have seen the boulder that crushes. It is a wooden board with sharp corners and rough edges, and a solidity that won’t fail. It is a room that shrinks and shrinks until the prisoner is crouching and caught. It...
There is an anchor that weighs down the left side of my body. I am torn. I wish to ignore it, force it to dissipate through sheer exclusion of awareness, until I am free of its burden (when I can float through walls and transform into fantastic shapes). I wish for things that contradict that repulsion. I wish to live in harmony with my being, so that I may avoid suffering. I wish to live in...
Walking through the imaginary forest of possibilities can be overwhelming. I walk to discover, and I walk to create, and I walk to achieve my goals within the boundaries of time. Studying python has been exploration unto itself, and an exploration of exploration. I have surpassed primary levels of comprehension within python (absorbing presumptions and laws of syntax and vocabulary) towards more...
The middle section of the eightfold path concerns sila (ethics): samma vaca (right speech), samma kammanta (right action), and samma avija (right livelihood). Here are a medley of considerations: Positioning the paths within the path The eightfold path sets off from an acknowledgement of suffering. So too the paths of sila are means towards an eradication of suffering. The logic of the sila is...
Weak and vulnerable. Rivers flowing behind the eyes, and in the chest a sea. And the sea is never full. An undulating surface. Depths and darkness and suffocating enclosure. A place that expands from the inside out, with walls that never move. Desperation and pity and collapsed possibilities. A flimsy coil of smoke rising from its own darkness, reaching and grasping. An abyss reflecting itself...
