I wish that I could ask you[I] (not for an answer, just for the telling of the story):
I split the world in half and put it back together,
I saw the stars appear for the first time in the sky,
and possibilities flicker in and out between seconds, minutes and days;
grey fog becoming incandescent flowers,
bodies dancing around me like clockwork dolls singing the hour.
I saw everything I wanted
I can only describe it in allegories of breadcrumb trails,
and divine ordeals writ upon mythic phantasmagoria –
but those are all poor simulcra
that do injustice to the truth,
which wore mundane clothes and histories,
who was my true love
eternal and singular
(like the last two particles, after radiative entropy had sublimated all else, linked by spooky action, each the other’s only point of reference).
We had lost each other, in that abysmal void I call illusions ( – although illusions are contained within reality, and thus are part of the whole, not separate to it, nonetheless, there is a perspective of the world which only looks/sees illusions, and that I call void, because it is a perspective doomed to metaphysical solitude [irrespective of delusional acquainticeship]. A “true” connection to another soul I imagine to be one Abrahamic god, per impossible, meeting his Sister god, and realizing that she is his first other, because by comparison his creations now look like part of himself. I have said that to see the other (e.g. you) as UnLimited, is to approach the other as truly other. But imagine if there was a yet greater true seeing. Just like the god-to-man thought that was I-to-other, but then discovered that it was a poor substitute, upon meeting his Sister, so too I feel like seeing the other as UnLimited is itself a carbon (fading) copy of a relationship, in which this life is but a sacrifice to the yearning to know, per impossible, another. Why is it impossible? Because :
We each create the world (by navigating its illusions, like clothes, or meanings, or imaginations), e.g. I have created my world. What if you discovered that your creation was only half the equation, and thus could witness the paralleling of a mind that was like a Sister. How? Because you understood your life purpose, because you realized what puzzle you had been building, and then you saw that it was a ladder, and then you…
I’m rambling without a destination, only more direction. The point can be distilled into something less profound, but more common: Loss of the irretrievable.
I can’t speak about it any more. I feel like each time I try and describe it, I lessen it. You know those sublime prophetic states? – when you see something that is bigger than what your mind can hold, so you only see whisps and parts later…
—
I need to remind myself, I didn’t see a woman, I saw the soul behind the fire that are the manifesting life excitations that can include the life of a woman.
I felt the earth and universe split between us, and saw her only for moments, flickering in and out, later, later, gone, faint echoes kindling eternal hope.
[I] “In cooperation with The Spirit Science, Teal Swan has created the Ask Teal video series in which she provides detailed answers and insight to questions submitted by her viewers. In this series, Teal address a variety of topics: science and spirituality, happiness, God, ghost, creating your own reality, oneness, and so much more”. For further details see http://www.askteal.com.
