Dear stranger,<\/p>\n
Down the road is a bridge over a cement creek. The waters are always very low, except when it rains, then it stays high for a few days. In the middle of the creek, to the side of the bridge, is a supermarket trolley lying on its side, half submerged. I walk over the bridge most days \u2013 to the train station, or the shops, or the library \u2013 and sometimes I see two ducks standing next to the trolley.<\/p>\n
A few times I have walked alongside the creek late at night, when I can’t sleep. I walk and day-dream of my plans for my future. Eventually, I hit houses, I cut through their alleys, and make my way to the 24hr fast food. I always see police, and I’ve been told this area can be dangerous, but I don’t know if I believe it. I’ve never seen anyone else along the creek at night.<\/p>\n
Last Friday I went for a walk by the creek. On the way back the crescent moon was nicotine yellow and large. I sat on a bench, by the creek, at 2 o’clock in the morning, behind me a row of identical houses, modern and prefabricated and dark. In front of me, the creek winded to the left then to the right, before turning again and disappearing. Across the creek is grass, then more houses, all dark except for an occasional car. Further along, I can see the spires of an Albanian mosque, all white. And further yet I can see the bridge lit up by a single street lamp, and the yellow, yellow moon above it. I sat there for a while and it was good.<\/p>\n
Then I walked back, continuing to day-dream about my future.<\/p>\n
My days are mostly carbon copies. Often I wake up with fear and a racing mind. My thoughts overwhelm me until I can’t see them, only a terrifying sense of urgency.<\/p>\n
Next to me, in the bed, are books (a black-and-white speckled exercise book for my maths, programming, and Buddhism studies; a brown faux-leather in which I’m trying to write an instruction manual for my life; a blue cloth planner; a black plastic covered art diary and a book on learning to draw cartoons), and next to me, on a table are some books (Thoreau and Kabat-Zinn), a calculator, black fingerless fabric gloves, coloured pencils and pens, keys, a box of tissues, and a leaf.<\/p>\n
I picked the leaf from a tree. I was living on a horse agistment and cattle farm. I climbed a tree and picked the highest leaf could reach.<\/p>\n
Once I realize that my thoughts are leading me nowhere, I start my morning routine. I take a handful of supplements. They sit on my dresser on the side of the mirror. Next to them, stuck into the mirror’s frame are three post-cards from an exhibit I once saw. I had been backpacking my way north to visit some friends (who live in a secret paradise between mountains and rivers and an ocean) and found myself in a city whose cement and steel and glass and hurry-hurry-hurry tempo bored me, until I saw a poster for an exhibit of art from a Scottish museum. While waiting for the museum to open, I spoke to an old woman about her trip to Uzbekistan and Zoroastrianism. I bought my three favourite works reduced into postcard forms before leaving. They are beautiful.<\/p>\n
I shower and so forth. I have the house to myself most days. I sublet with a man from India. Most nights he brings me food from the kitchen where he works, and he tells me about life in India and about his love for ancient Indian music. I have the house to myself most days, so I can take my time, and try and slow my thoughts as I focus on the hot water until my body is red.<\/p>\n
The house is quiet except for the soft sound of cars passing on a nearby road, and the fridge which intermittently, throughout the day and the night, begins to beep.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Dear stranger, Down the road is a bridge over a cement creek. The waters are always very low, except when it rains, then it stays high for a few days. In the middle of the creek, to the side of the bridge, is a supermarket trolley lying on its side, half submerged. I walk over […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[159,154,128,82,108],"tags":[],"metadata":[280],"class_list":["post-2393","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-all-posts","category-google-drive","category-journal","category-life","category-observations","metadata-notebook-reference"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1234,"url":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/2016\/09\/29\/we-lived-in-a-farmhouse\/","url_meta":{"origin":2393,"position":0},"title":"We Lived in a Farmhouse","author":"Pala","date":"September 29, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Editorial notes: The first part of this short autobiographical narrative refers to the time Shai lived in a debilitated farmhouse in the Brisbane area. I was there is June 2015 and the description of the farmhouse, its surroundings and inhabitants is spot on. The last paragraph is Shai\u2019s beautiful, yet\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "All Posts"","block_context":{"text":"All Posts","link":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/all-posts\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2840,"url":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/2014\/03\/29\/to-you-whom-this-concerns\/","url_meta":{"origin":2393,"position":1},"title":"To you whom this concerns","author":"Pala","date":"March 29, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"To you whom this concerns, I don't know where to start. Which reminds me of how I began one of my journals. And so, to quote myself:* There's something satisfyingly indulgent about copying words that had already been finished, but are being given a new meaning in a new context.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "All Posts"","block_context":{"text":"All Posts","link":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/all-posts\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1771,"url":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/2011\/02\/27\/my-life-as-a-night-elf-priest-br-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":2393,"position":2},"title":"My Life as a Night Elf Priest (BR)","author":"Pala","date":"February 27, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"World of Warcraft\u00a0(WoW) has the population and GDP of a small country, and yet for all that, it's just another niche\u00a0community. Some two billion people all around the globe have access to the\u00a0internet, and while they may have a few inducible portals in common - google, facebook, Wikipedia - there\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "All Posts"","block_context":{"text":"All Posts","link":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/all-posts\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2809,"url":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/2013\/09\/25\/wednesday-september-25-2013\/","url_meta":{"origin":2393,"position":3},"title":"Wednesday September 25, 2013","author":"Pala","date":"September 25, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Meta: There were some intentions I'd developed half-heartedly, though their outcomes were deserving of all that much more. I had made various agreements and bribes by which I hoped to venture ever forward. \"Limited\" progress be as it may, I'm faced again with the starter's choice, but I feel like\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "All Posts"","block_context":{"text":"All Posts","link":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/all-posts\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":801,"url":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/2016\/03\/28\/early-set-backs-in-emotional-awareness\/","url_meta":{"origin":2393,"position":4},"title":"Early set-backs in emotional awareness","author":"Pala","date":"March 28, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"This is what I've worked out. This is the progress I've made. This the set-back I've experienced. This is my recommendation for the best way forward. It seems like Emotions form a substrate of the conscious entity, that is separate in the same way that the physical body is separate\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "All Posts"","block_context":{"text":"All Posts","link":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/all-posts\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2695,"url":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/2013\/11\/21\/thursday-november-21-2013\/","url_meta":{"origin":2393,"position":5},"title":"Thursday November 21, 2013","author":"Pala","date":"November 21, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"As I write this line I am already aware that I have produced a few strategies below. 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