{"id":1614,"date":"2017-06-20T23:11:59","date_gmt":"2017-06-20T23:11:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/?p=1614"},"modified":"2018-11-21T23:27:04","modified_gmt":"2018-11-21T23:27:04","slug":"a-menu-in-poem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/2017\/06\/20\/a-menu-in-poem\/","title":{"rendered":"A menu in poem"},"content":{"rendered":"

Anything you say or do can be used against you.\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong><\/p>\n

The mornings introduce themselves
\nlike a waiter living off tips
\nlike a feature film
\n(a dramatic good-cop bad-copy<\/a> slow-paced thriller)
\n– otherwise indistinct from the previews and last minute phone call in the foyer –
\nlike a trumpeter testing a borrowed horn.<\/p>\n

And though
\n\u201calthough\u201d
\nI come here every day
\n(tautology masquerading as devotion)
\nI forget everyone\u2019s name
\nand face
\nand what I like to eat
\nand whether the bad guys get away.
\n\u201cI\u2019m sorry I\u2019m bad with names\u00a0 \u00a0 and
\nfaces\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 and
\ntastes\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0and
\nfates.\u201c<\/p>\n

I never pick up the menu
\njust announce
\nrehearsed without end in my head
\nthat I am allergic to
\ngluten
\nand nuts
\nand pain.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe don\u2019t serve pain here,\u201d
\nThey always say!
\nAnd I know that they are lying
\nbecause the surtitles below the silent figure say *snigger*
\n<\/em>and the kitchen answers with a trumpet and drumkit
\nand my face gets all red.<\/p>\n

I applied for a job once
\n\u201cI play the drums
\npractise for six hours every Tuesday while I wait
\nfor my favourite show
\non tv.\u201d<\/p>\n

Manager wanted to know which one,
\nwhich is when I get caught
\nby the feds
\nwho are wanting me for charges, including
\nlarceny
\n(or was it mockery?)
\nwhich is a stroke of luck
\nbecause I wouldn\u2019t know a quaver
\nfrom a qualm.<\/p>\n

When they put me<\/a> in the back of the van I make sure to
\ntouch on
\nbecause I\u2019m in enough trouble
\nwithout being called
\na freedom fighter
\nor frequent flier
\nor freeloading fart
\n(and I ate beans for breakfast, alas, too,
\nhearsay overruled).<\/p>\n

Do I know what I\u2019m here for?
\nI sniff my knickers\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 and
\nundershirt\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0and
\nthe circle of flattened hair underneath the constable\u2019s wristwatch.
\n\u201cI can get you a case of those for thirty dollars a pop.\u201d
\nWe dance around numbers and issues of trust
\nuntil he admits
\n\u201cNo thank you, this one was a gift from the troop.\u201d
\nHe\u2019s retiring today.<\/p>\n

My luck holds
\ntill 4 o\u2019clock
\nwhich was forty minutes ago
\nwhich was when his shift forever ended
\nwhich was when I should have stopped.
\nDon\u2019t insult a man\u2019s mother
\n\u201cI bet your mum likes to play with that baton.\u201d<\/p>\n

His mum was the same grey-haired blonde
\nas had offered me the stolen time
\n(watches, coins for parking meters, and calendars by the month)
\nas had offered her son a family-discount.
\nThe hereditary liar was not retiring:
\nWhat coiled mortal coils we both were!
\nThe mime (from the previous scene) mimed
\nopening the door
\n(and against all definitions I\u2019d been taught)
\nasked
\naloud
\n\u201cWill that be all?\u201d
\n\u201cMore bread,\u201d
\nsaid the Sergeant,
\nwhich was the start of our friendship
\nbecause we were both gluten-free
\nand quite sensitive
\nto pain.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat a morning!\u201d
\nI announced to no effect
\nbecause
\nquite
\nsuddenly
\nmy
\nalarm alarmed
\nalarming me too, and
\ncausing the waiter to grin
\nand the kitchen orchestra to orchestrate.<\/p>\n

4 stars out of 5 (average 2.0). Good price poor service.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Anything you say or do can be used against you.\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The mornings introduce themselves like a waiter living off tips like a feature film (a dramatic good-cop bad-copy slow-paced thriller) – otherwise indistinct from the previews and last minute phone call in the foyer – like a trumpeter testing a borrowed horn. And […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[159,154,161],"tags":[],"metadata":[],"class_list":["post-1614","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-all-posts","category-google-drive","category-poetry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1708,"url":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/2010\/10\/18\/speusippus-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":1614,"position":0},"title":"Speusippus","author":"Pala","date":"October 18, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"I recommend reading the first footnote before starting It started with\u00a0Plato, but it didn't end there[1]. 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Some background to set the scene: Ketamine[I]: it\u2019s a drug best known as \u201cthat horse tranquillizer\u201d, and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "All Posts"","block_context":{"text":"All Posts","link":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/all-posts\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":66,"url":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/2016\/10\/30\/apologies\/","url_meta":{"origin":1614,"position":5},"title":"Apologies","author":"Pala","date":"October 30, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Editorial notes: In October 2016, Shai opens his eighth\u00a0blog, entitled \u201cA Bashful Hope\u201c and sub-title \u201cDreaming of meaning\u201d. Between October 2016 and December 2016 he posts\u00a013 articles in this blog. 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