The Bible Nut, whose given name was Joseph, had recently found out that between 7:00 pm and 7:30 pm each day the caf\u00e9 across the road would sell their muffins at the reduced price of two dollars.<\/p>\n
Joseph\u2019s permit allowed him to speak until 7:30 pm but lately, he had been stopping a little early to catch the sale.<\/p>\n
\u2018And Jehovah called unto Moses, and spake unto him out \u2026\u2019<\/p>\n
The Lord would forgive him.<\/p>\n
\u2018It was the best of times, it was the worst of times\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n
Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n
\u2018It was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n
Joseph breathed in deeply and thought of God, Jesus and muffins.<\/p>\n
\u2018Even of the herd and of the flock\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n
The Bible Nut had been coming, with the approval of the council, to the corner of Collins St and Swanston St in the Melbourne city centre for six years.<\/p>\n
\u2018It was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n
For his hour-long slot, Joseph would set up his microphone, turn the dial on his amplifier to three and a half, switch on his generator and read out excerpts from the bible.<\/p>\n
\u2018And he shall lay his hand upon the head of the burnt-offering\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n
When his time was up Joseph would go home or, more recently, take a short detour to the caf\u00e9.<\/p>\n
\u2018It was the season of light, it was the season of darkness\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n
For the ninth time in a row the Dickens Stalker, who\u2019s given name was Rhys and who\u2019s blog username was Rhys1983, invited himself to stand alongside the Bible Nut and read the same first chapter from A Tale of Two Cities <\/em>through a megaphone.<\/p>\n \u2018It was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n Joseph breathed in again and made sure not to curse.<\/p>\n \u2018And he shall kill the bullock before Jehovah: and Aaron’s sons\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018We had everything before us, we had nothing before us\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n The alarm on Joseph\u2019s digital watch beeped loudly and he fiddled with the tiny buttons until it stopped making noise.<\/p>\n He closed his bible and nestled it into the inside pocket of his jacket. He then unplugged the microphone, turned off the amplifier and coiled the lead around his shoulder.<\/p>\n Rhys smiled and walked away singing quietly to himself.<\/p>\n Joseph had a limp in his left leg, which made the amplifier appear heavier in his hand that it actually was.<\/p>\n He waited for the traffic to clear, looked both ways, walked to the middle of the road, looked again and then took four quick steps to land himself safely on the footpath.<\/p>\n Lindsey, the barista at the caf\u00e9 across the road, pressed stop on her digital camera when she saw the Bible Nut approaching.<\/p>\n \u2018Hey, how are you?\u2019 She asked when Joseph entered her shop.<\/p>\n He nodded in response.<\/p>\n \u2018After a muffin?\u2019<\/p>\n Joseph pointed.<\/p>\n \u2018Blueberry, are you pointing at the blueberry one?\u2019<\/p>\n He nodded again.<\/p>\n Lindsey picked up the blueberry muffin with some tongs and slipped it into a paper bag.<\/p>\n Joseph dropped two dollars onto the counter.<\/p>\n \u2018Oh don\u2019t worry about it,\u2019 she said, \u2018you can just have it.\u2019<\/p>\n The Bible Nut smiled and limped out of the shop, leaving the two dollars where it was.<\/p>\n Lindsey dropped the coin into the till.<\/p>\n That night, when Lindsey got home, she uploaded the video she\u2019d recorded onto the Internet.<\/p>\n The title of the video was \u2018Prank on Bible Nut\u2019 and it went for seven minutes.<\/p>\n Rhys1983 was the fifth person to leave a comment.<\/p>\n Rhys1983: hey that\u2019s me. I\u2019m the one with the megaphone!<\/p>\n Chuckleberry: ha! Why are you doing that? It\u2019s hysterical.<\/p>\n Chuckleberry: soz, I meant hysterical.<\/p>\n Leom22: I think it\u2019s mean, leave the guy alone.<\/p>\n JustForFun: why did you choose \u2018a tale of two cities\u2019?<\/p>\n Chuckleberry: I like that book.<\/p>\n JustForFun: it\u2019s such an obvious choice.<\/p>\n Rhys1983: I just grabbed whatever. It\u2019s the only book I could find.<\/p>\n Toolies: to Leom22: these people deserve it, I hate crazy god nut jobs.<\/p>\n Leom22: everyone has the right to express themselves.<\/p>\n After seeing himself in the video Rhys started to bring a camera to record himself next to the Bible Nut.<\/p>\n \u2018It was the best of times, it was the worst of times\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n Joseph noticed the camera and breathed in deeply.<\/p>\n \u2018And he shall rend it by the wings thereof\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018It was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n Passers-by would make sure not to step in front of the camera’s line of vision.<\/p>\n \u2018What\u2019s going on?\u2019 A woman asked Rhys.<\/p>\n Rhys smiled and read from his book.<\/p>\n \u2018It was the season of light, it was the season of darkness\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n Joseph stole short glances at his unwelcome companion.<\/p>\n \u2018It is a burnt-offering, an offering made by fire\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n The Dickens Stalker looked like a man who would read the same first chapter of A Tale of Two Cities<\/em> through a megaphone and then record himself doing it.<\/p>\n \u2018It was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n More passers-by stopped to stand alongside the camera.<\/p>\n When enough of a crowd had gathered Rhys took off his blazer.<\/p>\n He was wearing a white t-shirt that had the words rhystheman.blogspace.com<\/em> written in big black letters.<\/p>\n Over the next month and a half the accumulated views of all the various Bible Nut videos reached close to a million and Rhys changed the background of his blog page from a tiled photo of him on a motorcycle to a simple, yet classy, black.<\/p>\n \u2018These are the words which Moses spake unto all Israel\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n Dozens of people started gathering at the corner of Collins St and Swanston St on a regular basis to watch the Bible Nut.<\/p>\n Some activists, realising the potential for exposure, stood next to Joseph to rally for their cause.<\/p>\n \u2018Legalise gay marriage now!\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018It was the best of times, it was the worst of times\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018It is eleven days’ journey from Horeb by the way of mount Seir\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n The activists would hand out pamphlets, Rhys would take photos with fans and the Bible Nut would stand, unflinching with his eyes buried in his beloved text.<\/p>\n \u2018You are a horrible person, leave us alone with your preaching!\u2019<\/p>\n This man had emerged from the crowd over the past week to rain abuse on Joseph.<\/p>\n \u2018Leave him alone, he\u2019s not hurting anyone.\u2019<\/p>\n This woman would often come to Joseph\u2019s defence.<\/p>\n \u2018According unto all that Jehovah had given\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n Many teenagers in the crowd would try to break through the Bible Nut\u2019s statue-like fa\u00e7ade.<\/p>\n \u2018Hey crazy man, give us a wave.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018After he had smitten Sihon the king of the Amorites\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Hey nutjob, I think you\u2019re hot.\u2019<\/p>\n The calls would often turn horribly crude at this point and Joseph would work harder to ignore them.<\/p>\n \u2018Beyond the Jordan, in the land of Moab\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n At the end of most days, the teenagers would start a chant.<\/p>\n \u2018BIBLE NUT! BIBLE NUT! BIBLE NUT!\u2019<\/p>\n Leom22 asked on Rhys\u2019s blog page why Joseph stood for such abuse. She wanted to know why he kept on showing up and why the police didn\u2019t interfere.<\/p>\n Nobody asked Joseph or the police.<\/p>\n It was either the watch or the microphone and Joseph was grateful he\u2019d attacked the watch.<\/p>\n He didn\u2019t really need it anyway.<\/p>\n He tied the microphone cable tight around his arm. A habit he\u2019d only recently developed.<\/p>\n Joseph was not an angry person.<\/p>\n He didn\u2019t want anything from anyone. Buskers ask for small change, charity collectors ask for donations. He just wanted to speak.<\/p>\n If he didn\u2019t fill the hour between 6:30pm and 7:30pm three days a week then someone else would. It didn\u2019t have to be him, but why not?<\/p>\n Joseph reached the end of Swanston St and paused. He didn\u2019t have a watch anymore but he still knew it was 6:20pm.<\/p>\n He took a few limp steps forward and stopped again.<\/p>\n \u2018Someone was going to do something on that street corner,\u2019 he muttered, \u2018it may as well be a guy reading the bible.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Moreover, your little ones, that ye said should be a prey,\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018It was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Legalise now!\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Bible nut! Get a life!\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Leave him alone!\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018And your children, that this day have no knowledge of good or evil \u2026\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Hey man, there\u2019s no God, give it up!\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018It was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018BIBLE BUT! BIBLE NUT!\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018But as for you, turn you, and take your journey \u2026\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Get a life mate!\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018BIBLE NUT! BIBLE NUT! BIBLE NUT! BIBLE NUT!\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Have you ever even had a girlfriend mate?\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018It was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Then ye answered and said unto me\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Go home and leave us all alone!\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018We will go up and fight according to all that Jehovah \u2026\u2019\u2018BIBLE NUT!\u2019 \u2018\u2026and ye girded on every man his weapons of war, \u2026\u2019 \u2018BIBLE NUT! BIBLE NUT!\u2019 \u2018\u2026and Jehovah said unto me, Say unto them \u2026\u2019 \u2018BIBLE NUT! BIBLE NUT! BIBLE NUT! BIBLE NUT!\u2019 \u2018\u2026go not up, neither fight; \u2026\u2019 \u2018BIBLE NUT! BIBLE NUT! BIBLE NUT! BIBLE NUT!\u2019 \u2018\u2026before your enemies\u2026\u2019 \u2018BIBLE NUT! BIBLE NUT! BIBLE NUT! BIBLE NUT! BIBLE NUT! BIBLE NUT! BIBLE NUT! BIBLE NUT! BIBLE NUT! BIBLE NUT! BIBLE NUT! BIBLE NUT! BIBLE NUT! BIBLE N\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n The chanting stopped and Rhys immediately turned off his video camera. The activists stopped handing out pamphlets and only two people had their videos recorded on the phones.<\/p>\n \u2018Um\u2026\u2019 this was Rhys, \u2018are you O.K man?\u2019<\/p>\n Joseph didn\u2019t respond.<\/p>\n The crowd reacted as a crowd of people does when someone starts crying, especially when it\u2019s the Bible Nut.<\/p>\n Joseph sat down on his amplifier and the crowd slowly dissipated.<\/p>\n Lindsey had put away her camera as well. She was horrified to see that no one went over to comfort the man. She herself could not leave the caf\u00e9 until 7:30pm when she closed shop.<\/p>\n By 7:20pm Joseph had gone home.<\/p>\n Rhys posted one more video of the Bible Nut onto his blog page.<\/p>\n RHYS1983: bit of an overreaction don\u2019t you think?<\/p>\n Chuckleberry: I agree.<\/p>\n Leom22: you pushed him too far.<\/p>\n Rhys1983: it was a joke, I thought he\u2019d enjoy the attention, everyone was having a good time.<\/p>\n Chuckleberry: I guess that\u2019s why they call him a nut\u2026LOL.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The Bible Nut, whose given name was Joseph, had recently found out that between 7:00 pm and 7:30 pm each day the caf\u00e9 across the road would sell their muffins at the reduced price of two dollars. Joseph\u2019s permit allowed him to speak until 7:30 pm but lately, he had been stopping a little early […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[159,154,272,114],"tags":[],"metadata":[],"class_list":["post-1198","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-all-posts","category-google-drive","category-short-story","category-story"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1217,"url":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/2017\/08\/23\/warm-rays-in-cold-rooms-v1\/","url_meta":{"origin":1198,"position":0},"title":"Warm Rays in Cold Rooms (v1)","author":"Pala","date":"August 23, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Editorial notes: This essay\/story appears in two versions (see also Warm Rays in Cold Rooms (v2)) and it is not clear which one is the later or more up-to-date of the two, hence they are both published here. After paying his respect to the anonymous pornstar, Professor Steven Stephenson, said,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "All Posts"","block_context":{"text":"All Posts","link":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/all-posts\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1223,"url":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/2017\/08\/23\/warm-rays-in-cold-rooms-v2\/","url_meta":{"origin":1198,"position":1},"title":"Warm Rays in Cold Rooms (v2)","author":"Pala","date":"August 23, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Editorial notes: This post\/story appears in two versions (see also Warm Rays in Cold Rooms (v1)) and it is not clear which one is the later or more up to date of the two, hence they are both published here. I was walking around the room, trying to focus on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "All Posts"","block_context":{"text":"All Posts","link":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/all-posts\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":771,"url":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/2015\/11\/24\/tawdry-enraptured-mincing\/","url_meta":{"origin":1198,"position":2},"title":"Tawdry enraptured mincing","author":"Pala","date":"November 24, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"In a mute house behind a lethargic door on a shelf dressed in dust sits a box. To the box was a key given to a girl who swam in the ocean and chose to sleep in it too. In the box was a tawdry ring given by an Aunt\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "All Posts"","block_context":{"text":"All Posts","link":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/all-posts\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1706,"url":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/2010\/10\/17\/the-writing-of-the-god\/","url_meta":{"origin":1198,"position":3},"title":"The Writing of the God","author":"Pala","date":"October 17, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Editorial notes: This is Shai's first dedicated write-up relating to Jorge Luis Borges. Borges is referenced in two earlier essays and between Jan 2010 and Nov 2017 is referenced by Shai 17 times. The Writing of the God\u00a0(Spanish:\u00a0La Escritura del Dios; also sometimes entitled\u00a0The God's Script) is a short story\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "All Posts"","block_context":{"text":"All Posts","link":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/all-posts\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":810,"url":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/2016\/04\/23\/five-ascetics-waiting-for-buddha\/","url_meta":{"origin":1198,"position":4},"title":"Five ascetics waiting for Buddha","author":"Pala","date":"April 23, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"The Pali cannon (MN 36) tells the story of the Buddha's enlightenment. Before his liberation, the to-be Buddha tortured himself by emaciating himself and restricting his breathing, in his search for ultimate liberation. Past masters had failed him in his ultimate quest, and so he strived to find his own\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "All Posts"","block_context":{"text":"All Posts","link":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/all-posts\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2446,"url":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/2013\/03\/14\/book-cicero-offices\/","url_meta":{"origin":1198,"position":5},"title":"Book: Cicero – Offices","author":"Pala","date":"March 14, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"A summary of intent of practicality in Bk.I[I]: (This approach is justified by the book's opening passages; written to his son to guide him on his education, which is an achievement of life, and not merely its underlying theory). Duty, which defines what we must do with our lives, can\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "All Posts"","block_context":{"text":"All Posts","link":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/all-posts\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/padotI-jk","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1198","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1198"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1198\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1198"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1198"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1198"},{"taxonomy":"metadata","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thetravellerslastjourney.com\/shai\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/metadata?post=1198"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}