I’ve been thinking a lot recently about where I’m going with my life, the changes that I desire, and the places (inside and out) that I want to be.
Some days I hold on to an amorphous fantasy in my head, a castle in the air of planetary proportions, a benign death star that would prove the infinite potential I (sometimes) feel peeking through the cracks in my chest. I tell myself that even if I don’t make it to stars, if I only make it a fraction of the way to Andromeda, I will still be sailing through the cosmic void, become a minor constellation.
Some days I pivot my actions on the person that I want to be, on the (infinite) potential that lies shrouded and untapped beneath the layers of history and mistakes and mindless habituations. If I can train my body to do anything that I want then it will be my tool and never hinder me. If I can train my mind to do anything that I want then it will be my tool and never hinder me. If I can push my character towards a momentum that serves my goals, then I will always move closer towards them. 
There are many horses attached to this chariot, and sometimes I have become identified with one over the other, identifying my being with it, and other times they have conflicted with each other or with the dreams in my heart. If I am in harmony with my carriers, and if my carriers are allowed to exercise their potential and discover and express their capacity, then I can do anything that is possible.
Some days I yearn for the things outside me that would nurture and entertain me. I look out at the malleable world and its monadic participants and wish for an involvement and power to interact with and entrance both. Love and power, opportunity and abundance.
Some days the explorer inside calls out for a discovery and understanding of all. Every person and culture and history and psychology and purpose and creation and instruction and explanation and hypothetical and imagination is a sufficient and necessary parameter in the search for everything.
Some days I hear the call of a creator, and crave to remake this world in my own image. I wish to set a fire that will enlighten, that will offer protection and possibility and a certainty of change.
There is a hierarchy of being. My body supports my mind supports my soul combines into my character that generates momentum that creates a future. Yet everything is connected, and there is no foundation except perhaps the abstraction that is my will.
