Newton’s first law prophecies a character’s story; the past predicts the future. The changes associated with an existing momentum are to be expected. In which case the path of a man becomes the story of a calculator surfing a leaf buffeted by external winds. But novel changes can occur, as by accumulation of minuscule effects that might be called the strata of maturity and experience, or by the aftershocks and re-calibrations that occur after trauma (whether positive or not).
New choices can be described as unleashed expressions of latent (or nascent) desires. To know what I might choose anew, I must know what I desire impotently.
Desire may reveal itself as a pummeling lust, a Utopian vision, somewhere in-between; or, as a secondary correlation of external forces, and/or compromised strategies for the avoidance of suffering. The continuum of the former pair, and the questionable validity and role of the latter are both causes for confusion.
I must start somewhere. I did: Undertook multiple routes to identifying goals. A list of things that I want. And, things that I want to do everyday, most days, and every week. And, brainstorming lifetime wishes for categories of finance, career, family, education, health, attitude, creativity, community, pleasure. And, a tentative breakdown of how/to which self-improvement activities I would (theoretically) dedicate 30 hours a week. And, a listing of every activity, habit, skill that I have considered incorporating recently into my life, and next to each one a brainstorm of “why”. And, identifying 5 problems in my life, and 10 things that I love, and some ideas how to improve both.
I still need to prioritize progress and milestones, but at least I have a sense of what I can do everyday and know that I am getting closer to something.
