I intend to attend to the sensation of breath at the nostrils’ rims. I begin with counts, and if the mind settles down so that the numbers are perceived as distractions then I abandon the counts.
Every session is different. But some features are familiar.
I am familiar with some variations in the breath.
I am familiar with some variations in attendance to the breath. I may grasp and direct my concentration, or I may attend to the breath lightly, as if I were only noticing it. I may perceive the breath as a presence, or as a detailed tapestry of sensation. I may perceive it closely as if it were the center of my being, or through veils of ongoing thoughts and emotions and feelings.
I am familiar with some variations in attendance to distractions. I may notice the contents of thoughts, and also the identity of thought. I may notice emotions as feelings, as correlates of patterns of thought, and also as the presence of resistance or urge. Feelings may be attended by needs. Needs may envelop my mind or be observed by my mind. A need may be felt as an identification of a direction, and as an identification of need. I may observe the veil of contents of the mind, or I may be focused on the breath and allow them to pass without care. I may be attracted to a calm mind and I may reject an agitated mind, and I may notice my attraction or rejection. All of these may be egocentric or distanced.
I am familiar with some variations in attendance to the container of being. I may incorporate a knowing of the transience and separateness of experiences as contents of thoughts or emotions or feelings. I may incorporate a knowing of the transience and separateness of the state of mind that itself contains the aforementioned experiences. I may not incorporate these knowings.
The content of meditation is awareness of object, distractions, and awareness of distractions. The descriptions above have sometimes occurred as epiphanies that were experiences that prompted thoughts; or are retrospective syntheses. There appears to be an accumulation of descriptions of experiences along the progress of time.
Every session is different, and when I try to hold onto the line of progress there is nothing to see or touch or follow.
